Aldershot

So now I'm posted to Nova Scotia, it's not too bad here.

I'm trying to remember most of what my BMQ was like, but it was a long wild ride.

I lived in 4 Section, Echo pod the whole course. So that was nice. Had a few good roommates that were good and drove me to better myself. Toews, Stevens, Yetman. All good guys who I graduated with.

Some key memories from BMQ:

Farnham was hella fun.

Falling asleep in class? Yeah I did that.

Got 92.61% final marks, second to top candidate, I was so proud of myself for that one.

Improvement in the first and second FORCES test, 9 points from platinum. Warrior test top 5.

Won the Section obstacle course with 4 minutes 53 I think?

Earned the nickname machine for a few days for my jumping jack intensity in class

Completed weapons drill first time with only one minor screwup which I fixed the second time around

Completed drill test on week 7 with 69/75

Earned the title 'Laundry King' for how much time I spent doing my sections and other people's laundry.

I enjoyed learning from our instructors, 4 Section commander Mcpl Boudrias was by far most people's favourite instructor. He gave us a lot of good advice for portraying ourselves, standing tall and driving ourselves for success in our careers. Never compromising and always learning and moving forward.

That's all for now.

The beginning of the end

Finished Farnham.

I'm just goona copy down some things I texted people:

"Well I don't think you'd recognize me anymore, let me tell you a few hints about myself.

I go by Smith 123

I wake up at 4 am every day

I run up and down 9 staircases 3 times a day

I polish boots and iron shirts in my free time

I run 8 kilometres with 50 kg on my back

I can field strip a rifle in 55 seconds

My estimated exercise V02 is 56.6 ml/kg/minute.

I cannot think of anything else good right now, how have you been?"

"Everything is awesome, I just got back from 4 days of intense field exercises and training.

I marched 13 kilometres with 50 pounds on my back and my feet are dead"

Basically Farnham was great.

First day, getting settled in Farnham, kind of a camping atmosphere, minus all the cool things (campfires, games, etc). The environment was fairly cool in the sense that we learned a good amount.

How to run a camp stove, spark a lantern, how we should arrange ourselves, disciplinary actions that are tactically minded (walking clockwise around the perimeter of the camp), how to set up a hoochie (wind break tent shelter thing), where to position during an enemy attack (Stand To! Stand To! Stand To!), what our arcs of fire are, how to determine friendlys (Hotel. Response: Oscar. It is a five letter password), we also put on cam paint that evening (it sucked and didn't come off fully all week), 

Next day, we tore down camp, took a bit to figure out how to do everything quickly, also the cam paint and shaving led to us not getting our timing.

Basically putting on and taking off FfO all day, this day I decided to wear my goferex boots because my zippers broke on my good combats, worst decision ever. So much pain in my feet all day, since this was the day we did the obstacle course, walked to the range and shot, and did a team building exercise as well.

We also had to do the Fire! Fire! Fire! exercise during the night, which sucked. This night we didn't get too much sleep.

The third day we had our obstacle course I think... yeah that's right.

zip line, tapell rower, and bridge crossing. Amateur hour basically, but al this week my feet hurt so it wasn't the greatest. Next we had to go and do some other team building exercises, where we xompleted obstacles and scenarios with the supplies we had in a tactical simulation.

After that I was tired like all day, and we got jacked up so much that afternoon. It was super sucky, like we had a good week but we wee getting jacked up like it was week 5. This continued, we did fast showers and cleaned our rifles/rucks, then we had to go to Kalen where in our PT gear, everyone's worried because we have no idea what's happening.

Then sergeant Poirier comes and gives us the yelling of the century. Like holymoley, 5-10 people cried, everyone was sad and disappointed. Sergeant said things like "17 people failed the drill test," "you lose every weekend for the rest of bmq," "phones go away for 3 weekends, you'll have 5 minutes to talk to your fairly, I don't care what you tell them."

But it was all an elaborate ruse, we did good, everyone passes the weapons test, we got a canteen offered to us where we could buy snacks, and we watched Fury.

Basically the best evening ever, we didn't even have fire pickets or patrols that night.

The past day in Farnham was the 13 km ruck.

My ruck got randomly selected for weighing and it was perfect. I had a chance to tie my left shoe again when we were outside, but I didn't retie my right shoe, so I think that partially caused the pain I'm currently experiencing with the blisters and numbness on my right foot. It's not too bad though, it could be worse.

That's basically Farnham, we came back and got steak so best Thursday evening meal ever.

Church at Saint-Jean 

Padre Irish

Hymn 260 alleluia, alleluia

Acts 2:14a, 36-41

Psalm 116

1 Peter 1:17-23

Padre B______

Luke 24: 13-35

_____?

Bagpipes

Statement of faith and apostles creed

Contemporary songs 

Prayer

Hymn 479 the church's one foundation 

That's all for now!

Day before field exercise

So next week (tomorrow) we're going to Farnham.

Cleaning rifles, waking up often, sleeping outside on the ground, sllvthat to look forward to.

I'm packing my kit right now, I need to rebuild my rucksack because my fire team partner accidentally "ghost locked" her locker. Fortunately it wasn't anything that I did, but my FTP is still part of my responsibility. I was pretty lazy, when my FTP was right next door I checked out pretty often, now that Michaud is in he girls pod halfway across the floor I've been super lazy.

We also don't have the greatest relationship, even on a professional level we don't really communicate, and I don't really contribute anything productive to that. Just time and communication will help fix that, but I've been moving other priorities (including leisure ones) above my FTP, so I know that I need to do better in that area.

When 4 Section was reformed into what is colloquially referred to as the "remedial section" (not seriously, just in a meta and sarcastic sense) Michaud admitted that she took it personally, and her attitude in that was evident with the way she acted around the rest of 4 Section. The staff, Sgt Rubin and Mcpl Boudrias told us that we were a section that "needed extra help."

Yeah, ___ing ow.

Idk about my thoughts on that, it's been 3¿ weeks now and I feel like I haven't actually changed too greatly. (That's a lie I'm more disciplined, but that's neither here nor there) anyways I'm happy jay I haven't been moved from 4 section, I've been here since the beginning, I haven't even moved pods so that's pretty nice.

I'm basically going off on different tangents but I'm basically saying I wish things were easier here. It would be so nice if I was just able to relax every day, do the physical stuff at a proper pace, sleep every day, leave my kit the way I like it, leave my bed "good enough", have my phone on my all the time, etc etc.

But it's not. If I haven't had the rigid discipline I wouldn't have the habits I have. If I was cutting corners whenever I could my body wouldn't be able to be driven during drill.

PT wise I'm doing excellently. 12 points from platinum on the Forces test, I'm impressed at my own abilities and how easy it feels like it was. I now know I need to be pushed, and I need to use that inner drive to produce qualities that will not fail when subjected to stress.

Physically-awesome

Mentally-discipline is coming, laziness is being staved off

Emotionally-family and friends from home are on my mind when I have downtime, I have a very positive association with everything I do or have done and I think that is healthy

Spiritually-church is a semi regular thing, same with bible readings. Morally I feel like I am doing ok, I can always improve there, but acknowledging that this is a specific season of life gives me a chance to take a step back and focus on the moment, knowing that building bear habits and disciplining myself will result in the desired outcome of a fully-trained CAF member.

CCC friends were on my mind this last weekend, I really love those guys and I'm glad I have that church group, I don't know when I'll return but I'm going to put more effort into talking with them semi-regularly in the last month here at CFLRS.

Encounter YEG is another group I've been getting more into contact with, love those guys. Josh is always hanging out, so I'll probably text him more often. He's still looking for work so I'm going to have him in my prayers. (Haven't prayed too much recently, working on that)

Haven't talked with Alyssa, semi talked to Andy. Layden, izzy, Brennan and Ashley are also some people who I haven't texted or called, but they are on my mind.

Chapel at Saint-Jean Garrison

First Sunday after Easter "Second Sunday of Easter"

 

Hymn 464 "Come ye faithful, raise the strain"

Reading Acts 2:14,22-32 

psalm 16 

1 Peter 1:3-9 

Kids service

Hymn 463 he choirs of new Jerusalem

John 20:19-32

Today was more of a personal reflecting chapel for me. I'm glad for opportunities in environments such as this, it's truly a blessing.

I just need to remember to post my blog stuff

That's all for now.

Good Friday in Saint-Jean

Good Friday service at the Saint-Jean Garrison.

BMQ is basically everything I thought it would be.

Lots of running around, PT is a highlight usually.

Weapons classes are actually way cooler than I thought they would be, I did rally well in my exam, but at the very end I forgot to do the "For Inspection Clear Weapons," after the clear I didn't forward assist fire. I figured it out soon afterward, but it was odd for some reason, fortunately since I had done so well up to that point I succeeded on my second attempt.

Today I even passed the drill practice test, although I did learn that she. I salute I need to keep my thumb in line with my hand, and I need to watch out for the timing calls and I need to make sure to focus on doing everything in cadence, it doesn't matter what the calling person does if it's obviously wrong, as long as the parade reacts professionally.

4 section got moved around, now everyone who was struggling is in this section. Tensions are high but I feel like it's just growing pains.

That's the hope anyways, one individual in particular makes a lot of good points, but I don't really know how to present any alternatives, since it's accurate points, but I feel like there is a better way out there, it's just

Church at Saint Jean garrison

Story of Jesus resurrection

Hymn

Padre Irish

Matthew 26:20-35

"one of you will betray me" "surely not me"

Peter Denys Jesus 3 times.

We walked around the orange sector of the Mega.

7 stations ending in Matthew 27:50-54 Jesus Dies

"We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you.

By your cross and precious death you have redeeemed the world."

Good Friday means focus on the cross.

That's all for now.

Young Adult Retreat plus last Sunday

Last session got deleted because Camp Nakamun has bad service and everything sucks.

Basically Pastor James talked about the things we need to do after we are dwelling in Jesus.

And that just means that we need to reflect on our actions, because those are the things that will express our emotions.

I also got prayed for in my sendoff weekend.

We spoke prophetic words over Pastor John and Ana.

We met up in small groups and talked about what it looks like to be a Christian and serve outside of "These Four Walls."

Left camp Nakamun.

Big post below

Church @ The Project

Baptism Sunday.

Chris from last weekends worship night.

James from Menergy.

Kalista? Twin

Nate? 

Brooke from Young Life

Frederick. Catholic background

Jessie. Best friend Jordan.

Announcement Andy!

On The Spot -Marriage 

Married couples:

Anket & Diandre

Carlos & Kennedy

Nick & Michelle

Compared to when you were single to now, what were your thoughts on marriage?

Marriage is for sex. But marriage is not all about sex, sex isn't the best part of marriage. Sacrifices for the person you love. Becoming a dad.

Marriage is work, you see them all the time, you aren't perfect with them, when you're married you unload on them. 

I was excited for marriage, you get to witness their life, and they get to witness your life.

Sex as well. Honouring your SO, bringing in more baggiage than you needed to. She had so much grace and he gets o experience it every day.

Expectation:marriage is great, but tough and all the work. Constantly think about how your actions affect another, being selfless is weok. It's awesome, it's fun, doing awesome stuff together every day.

Why get married? 50% ends in divorce. I wanna slap my old self, being vulnerable with another person, no stopping them off an d leaving them. Growing as one flesh. It's hard but learning how communicate is worth is and is so much more fun.

The things u outwork at become the miost fun. Things.

What did you do right before marriage?

Surrounding ourselves with good people who spoke into our lives. Married couples. Support. Advice, future.

Cancer in family. The established individual relationship win God help, and how dous the couples rlrstiihsip work as well. Dealing with stuff.

What do you wish you did before you were married? Doing it right

Accountability. Spiritually, as a guy. Masturbation? Married means spiritual life is easy, read the bible every night like good Christian couples. Not being a good leader at He start. I assumed she would taker her role and I would take mine. Establishing my role as leader I sucked at.

We would've had others holding us accohntsble, them being a apart of our lives, nobody to lean on or talk to about it.

What have been the best tools or supplements in your marriage?

Pre marriage course at church. Thin Ng's you argue about. Fighting fair. Putting their needs before yours.

Navigators counsel, preset questions, what did I do that made you happy. Any unresolved hurt or feelings. Making time to focus on your relationship.

Arguing well. Being too similar, not escalating, figuring it out right away. Not going to bed angry, making me tired. Figure out before we move on.

Quick to say sorry, don't keep fighting over whatever, even if it wasn't your fault approach it. Take it head on. Saying sorry. Escalate from there!

Take her on dates, coffee. Don't just sit an dcoexist, but go on walks where you need to communicate and be a part of others lives

Observing otherpeopel, asking questions, reading books. They look greetX what are they doing righ

None of them feel like they're perfect for it. We're all always figuring it out, you're always falling forward into it.

Do you think everyone is meant to be married?

Bit really, enerrioke jas different purposes.

Women look for in men?

?? Man that sees his wife in, man that's

Men look for in women?

Not crazy, cook, through the stomach, serious note, be yourself around and funny and serious, but serious at the same time.

Will marriage make you happy?

It's hard, but I hope so. I might not always like you but I will always love you. Knowing they're there no matter what

Marriage is one of the rnst things you. An do, but one of the hardest things you will ever so.

Ephesians 5:21 "submit to one another out of reverence to Christ." 

Submit is different in our culture. Not like how Paul uses. Submit to one another, not to one other. It's about the whole unit. 

Until your ready to give yourself as a benefit to the whole unit. 

Wives, if you had a husband who lived you likejesus loved you, it would be easy to entrust them in your life. Don't go chasing waterfalls. Wait until you find that person.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. He gave up his life for her. Are you willing to break your laptop to make this marriage work. Every marriage has an opportunity to experience Jesus love. Guys unless your willing to lay your rights down for the benefit of your wife you ain't ready.

Submit to one another out of the example and respect for christ. Even when we be treated him he came and mended the brokenness.

Marriage is the longest and hardest. But if you honour it it'll bring you closest to what Christ wants for you.

Dialogue about marriage submitted questions.

How young is too young to get married?

Divide by 2 add 7?

22-21? 

There are a few things you wanna pay attention to. How do you now your doing it the right way. Make sur you're as similar as possible. Dogs looking like your owners? Find that. Values and goals? Similar in that. Opposites attract until they start attacking rags other. Creates friction. Similar deep held values. Kids, travel the world. Can you look at them and say that you would naturally be friend, that you would organically get along very well.

If you don't know why you wanna do in life? Passions and direction where you wanna go. Make sur r you Nile your bagisgr and unconscious baggage. Knowing your blindspots. 21-25 creates s 15% divorce rate.

If a guy says you complete me? I don't feel like marrying half a man.

If you don't know, you'll create an identity out of that person.

Financially. Thinij g about that crates security. Are you aware about your financial situation? What it X happens?

Are your parents on your side with marriage?

What do you want to see before you'll marry someone?

Never submit to you if you're not confident in your ways of leading.

Value system. Love Jesus and has the relationship wtb God, listening and asking direction. Knowing what you're attached and drawn to. God has been shaping your identity. That is what is goinf to create the healthy space. 

What wil you do if you are married to someone who is married to video games?

If you brought it up and there is no shard reciprocation? Try to find a third party to manage the conversation. Be honest with what your feeling, don't see that person through your bitterness. Seek help out. Video games are a huge detriment to marriage.

Healthy behaviours and decisions lead to healthy emotions. If you aren't making the right choices then you haven't been having then right behaviours.

Why even get married it's the 21 century we edont need labels?

That's one way of seeing it. I see the marriage vow and covenant is not pushing away and separating love. It supercharged and advances them.

I'm commuting to love you and to be faithful, I'm commuting for your future and eeer both submitting to that. My love is at s marriage level, I'm in it all the way. "I will commit to you in life and death before you could even commit to me." Marriage is meant to express what god intends to express in reliishoo with us. Greatest way to love someone

How important is mareiage prep?

You gotta do more work to get s drivers license than it is to get married. Over 36% of couples that do marriage prep have a mor Erik filling marriage. It's the longest thing you do in life. Married at 35 and die at 85? That's 50 years of your life. Marriage prep helps you, gives you the tools to communicate about sex and finances and annoying habits.

Before you get engaged get marriage counselling. At least read s book. The other person is worth it.

What about this cases wher some couples get married after a month? They don't find out about those habits until after marriage?

Being a good communicator, talked about your feelings. If you learn to communicate well it means you invest into your SO, after investing into them you can overlook their annoyances. Communicating your annoyances is easy, and then you will show that you love them by Doing something about it. Different love languages and such. Communication can get over anything?

How do you know if you've found the one?

Once you say I Do. 

How do I support my spouse aside from going to church together?

Our spiritual life is s long journey. Things are going to happen. Be in tune with one another Anne where they're at. Are you praying about them more than you are taking about them? Talk to them and pray about it. God heard prayers and He is the one to chfsngr people. Posture of prayer, giving things to God and allowing  Him to work. If it brings goodness and gentleness it is a good thing.

Being in others to encourage and work with you.

My fiancé supports my faith, but doesn't believe?

I would have spoken to the person that brought me here, asking for help from those in faith. 

Biblical instruction in Corinthians.

If you aren't married you aren't married. It's hard to recognize while your in it.

One of you will compromise your values. Unfair to ask of someone. This is an important thing to ask. Wife or husband if you're married to someone who doesn't follow Jesus: pray for them and act like Christ in that relationship. Don't push your agenda. God doesn't do that. Pray and believe for your spouse, and be Christ like as much as you can.

What about friends who are good Christians and date someone without faith?

Do not base your life on exceptions. We all wanna base our life on best case scenario. That sets us up for disappointment and failure. It could happen, and pigs could fly.

You need to be wise. You are making decisions that will form the rest of your lives.

Do not screw with a relationship that will affect the rest of your lives together.

It's a role reversal. The Jesus lover falls away and the anti God person finds Jesus.

It's way too important a conversation to not have and not talk through.

We want you to do it well. Nobody does it perfectly. Learning to work with each other, learning good habits and unlearning bad habits. Nothing will shape you more than relationships.

That's all for now.

Young Adult Retreat First Session

Pastor James @ Camp Nakamun

First Saturday Session

Friend of Pastor John from college.

James story: Investment in his dads life by the Rowse family.

Humility, let's join together and talk about discipleship. "I've heard a million talks about this 😂"

John 15:1-

Story: people who you know on Facebook, you feel like you are not close with them at all, but they feel like you guys are best friends? Or maybe you thought someone was like that for you?

Story: going for a kiss with a girl in her BMW, "by the way I have a boyfriend." What? I thought I knew you?!

Like our relationship with Jesus, we want to be in a relationship with Him, but we don't actually know Him. Ask yourselves if you actually know Jesus. Is it your parents faith, or your pastors faith?

This weekend is for reevaluating if you know who Jesus.

Excuses, things that aren't bad but they distract us, 

On our phones, Netflix, insta, distractions that can remove us from focusing on Jesus.

Three primary things:

1. Disappointment: a time where you're hyped up on the spiritual high! But you go home and nothing happened. We did what the preacher said, and it didn't happen and I'm disapponted. Ten year old James story of being disappointed with his asthma faith healing. "I am not goona go there again because I don't want to be disappointed again." Didsppointment leads to laziness.
2. The devil. Without sin, without Adam and Eve. Our relationship with God would be so much more tangible. We would be i the garden, free. But it isn't God who tempts us.
3. Temptation: REALLY? Like God flip a switch in my life. I've gotta go through this again?! Wtf? Ima do all the Christ-like things, skinny jeans, goona go through all the motions. But without relationship... I could have intimacy and get the benefits of that relationship without _______. How do I go from being a follower to being a disciple. When temptation and apathy comes in we don't run from God, we run TO God. Story about having a fragile relationship, worried about earning God's love.

When was the last time you led someone to Christ outside of the church? What is your reputation with outsiders? Do people in coffeeshops and sports teams know you're a follower of Christ? 

"If you remain in me you will bear much fruit"

...then all of your desires will be given to you.

But are you in Me? Am I in you?

They will know you by your fruit, but are you showing them the love of Christ?

Be honest with yourselves, are you in Christ or are you just following Him? 

What has your heart? Your job? Your relationship? Your sports? Church? 

A Good Good Father: showing that He just wants to be with us.

There is always a level that you can go deeper, there is so much more to who He is.

You'll never get there if you don't be with Him, if you don't spend time in Him.

...

...

You can't earn your place in heaven.

You don't need to try.

God says that He loves us because we are His sons and daughters. Step one is to be with Him, remove any hindrances that are stopping that and just be.

Discussion time.

What did God say? Where you at with Jesus? What you feeling, let me help you journey with this.

Session 2 Saturday

Praying

Wrote my other post, talking about expressing things.

Praying and encouraging Matt and Nikki

Pastor James:

Being with Jesus, spending time.

Story: James and spending time with his wife. 

The most important thing to do in your life is spending time with Jesus

Second step to becoming a disciple is becoming like Jesus. Representing Him as best as we can.

Practice the things that He practices 

1 Corinthians 9:24-

Like an athlete would train for their event, we need to train as 

Stressed: kids ministry, gray hairs. Driving? Yeah.

"Dude you gotta control your emotions" being a hypocrite.

At work? Boss/coworker driving you crazy?

College/Uni? Homework is the killer.

Stress is tossed around pretty easily these days.

Burning out is real.

Renovations no permits basement suite, new super pastor at work worried about jobs, wife forgetting birth control, 

When we try to follow Jesus we think of it as a sprint, more like a marathon. If we don't lived a balanced life... stuff happens, but if we don't have practices in place we will one day give up and just throw in the towel.

Jesus was sweating blood, "can this cup be passed of me?!" Not my will but Yours.

You can't try your way to be like Jesus, you need to train your way to be like Jesus.

What were the spiritual disciplines. Jesus gave up His deity when he came to earth.

I don't say anything that u don't see the Father saying.

1. Get away from the crowd. Jesus, afterwards his ministry. A place of solitude, a place of silence. Get alone with the Father. 1 on 1 time.
2. Fasting. Jesus did this a lot. He was anointed into ministry and immediately went into the wildernesss and fasted for 40 days. That moment for Jesus wasn't his weakest but his strongest. He wasn't relying on a natural strength but the spiritual strength. You access supernatural resources when you fast.the point of fasting is that the time you would be doing X, you supplement it with prayer.
3. Reading your Bible. The power and presence that you can tap into simply by meditating on scripture. Reading the matriarchs and patriarchs of the faith. Read case for creator, case for the bible. This book is legit.
4. The art of Sabbath. It was initiated in Genesis when God rested. An important principle to take a 24 hour period when you just rest.
5. Community and food. After the Holy Spirit came down they broke bread, they gathered around and had food. Doing life outside of community is not the life Jesus called us to live. Coinenia Greek word meaning fellowship. Doing life together.
6. Sunday gathering and worship. Jesus sent to the synogogue once a week at least. Where we can get together as a family and get fed and get sent back out.
7. Serving. In and outside the church. "I did not come to be served but to serve." When I become more Christlike is when I go help somebody move. Jesus washing the disciples feet. Peter protested because Jesus was Doing the thing that nobody else wants to do. Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Don't tell anyone that you're serving, redding the Bible. Don't do it for recognition or as a popularity contest.
8. Gratitude. Stopping, taking a moment and just thanking God for what he's done in your life. So much power to tap into, potential is off the charts. Pray for your leaders. Thank you for _______. Bless them. God you love them, God I love them.
9. Celebration. I'm Jesus and I like to party. The year of jubilee, Passover, weddings, massive party. Mazeltov, Jesus' culture knew how to party.

Of these, probably focoud on the one that you are neglecting. Don't change your personality, don't become an extrovert/introvert, but come find Jesus in a place that is uncomfortable to you. Do something you've never done before. Invite God into moments in your day. Work these things into your daily routine, practice the things that Jesus practiced. Do the things that Jesus did to get filled with the spirit.

Liturgical audit: public worship, taking inventory of Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat. Does this do my heart well? Is this tapping into the Holy Spirit? Is it an addiction? Train towards the pain? 

Try these 9 things one at a time.

Just start practicing.

If you don't replace a habit you'll fall into that habit again.

I'll be honest I don't have any right now. I do need to do this once I'm in Montreal.

That's all for now.

The Morality of War, What does being in the Army mean?

Last weekend in Edmonton (I'm not actually in Edmonton right now lol). Last week I got sworn in to the military, had lunch and a really good conversation about my moral thoughts while I'm a part of the Army, and I kinda wanna write them out to solidify the values and ideals in my head. Um also last week I had some really sweet worship time, and the week before "last week" I was sick so that kinda sucked, hope my health is at its peak before I end up in Montreal, I wanna succeed physically.

Ok so regarding my thoughts on morality.

My hope is that the training period will give me the perspective that allows me to make judgement calls if I'm in the moment where I need that. 

Eg: I encounter an unexpected unknown/possible enemy and have to react quickly and decisively.

I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, so my idea is that those who are commanding me and giving me orders know that we are doing the 'right' thing with our actions as a unit: that I won't get an order that I know is wrong.

Now if that does happen, I hope that I will be allowed to express my thoughts.

Eg: if I see our company doing something I know is wrong because of the information that I have available to me, then I would hope I could say "Is this what we are supposed to be doing? What about X information which I know because of Y?" And I would be told further information based on that discussion.

As a member of the military I represent (to an extent) our citizens and peoples. Society depends on some members of the military domestically (for sure) and abroad (I hope so). Domestic issues are natural disasters and matters of national security, and I cannot think of a situation where I would question that in any way, shape, or form. Abroad? I could foresee that being an issue. Sometimes the locals do not want a military presence. NATO and the UN make choices based on the information available to them, and sometimes that information can be biased or outright incorrect, and if that happens and the situation on the ground is vastly different from command's understanding of the situation beforehand I would want to be able to communicate that in the fastest manner, especially when I am not experienced enough to understand what would need to change to accommodate the new situation that has arose.

What about killing someone?

I can honestly say that if I know that someone wants me dead I will not hesitate to stop them at any cost. That looks different in the field, because you don't know everything, and you have to make quick decisions that will have eternal (permanent) consequences. Another fact is if I am protecting someone from an aggressor, or possible aggressor, I do believe that there is no reason for there to be any doubt if I am seeing something "unexpected."

A man shows up somewhere he should absolutely not be at that time and refuses to communicate or back down? There should be a process that he has ignored deliberately and if he has gone that far than I am only retaliating to what he has already done as a conscious choice. I do not think I would hesitate if I knew that the safety of my company would be in danger if I did not take action.

My exposure to the world has taught me that people are not always to be trusted, and if someone has trusted their life (safety) in my hands then I should not doubt my own decisions to accomplish our goals with the greatest care and diligence.

I've beaten around the bush enough, if I saw someone with a weapon I would shoot first if I thought I had enough information to know that they are my enemy (they have made a conscious decision to A: have a weapon (implies readiness to kill, main, and destroy), and B: be in an area where they will find soldiers with the intention of ambushing/assaulting them, lastly C: having no identity aside from the weapon, this would apply to uniforms or marking designating friendlies). I would shoot to kill.

My goals are for everyone on earth to live in such a way where they do not fear for their lives as they move around the environment they are born into. Sometimes there is an unavoidable danger (dark street at night) that will be unavoidable no matter where you are located geographically, but that does not change my goal of basic human rights for life.

I do wonder about the motivations of those who find themselves in a 'War-Zone.' Obviously there are no real chcoices in that, if they could leave they would have, and if there is no other portion, I'm sure they would fight for their lands/families/ideology if that was the only option presented to them.

But when it turns to crimes against humanity? Treating prisoners like criminals? Killing civilians without any semblance of morality? Child soldiers? Ambushing enemies without any decision making or goal?

Those are things I disagree with wholeheartedly.

And if those doing these things were on my 'team?' Would I be able to stand in front of them and tell them that they cannot go through with what they wanted to? To physically try to stop them? I hope so.

What about the goals of the 'state' and the allies of our country (the western world, UN, NATO, and America foremost)? Do I think that everything the country does is right and am I comfortable with being only a pawn in those goals? 

My thoughts are that I hope that those placing the orders understand that they may not have all the information, and if they make a decision without all the information it could end up being the wrong one. Once the correction is made and more information has been gathered being able to change to the right choice is a hard one, and I hope it would be pursued and not ignored. Again I've kinda talked about this already, but just not agreeing with going along with something that is absolutely wrong, and being able to communicate why it is based on the real and true information.

I think something I'm thinking about is that the soldiers are not just 'warm bodies,' but that they are thinking, rational, knowledgeable human beings, and they can contribute to the choices that affect the world around them. Obviously there is a reason for the chain of command and those with experience and knowledge will be able to contribute more than those without.

That's all for now.