Young Adult Retreat plus last Sunday

Last session got deleted because Camp Nakamun has bad service and everything sucks.

Basically Pastor James talked about the things we need to do after we are dwelling in Jesus.

And that just means that we need to reflect on our actions, because those are the things that will express our emotions.

I also got prayed for in my sendoff weekend.

We spoke prophetic words over Pastor John and Ana.

We met up in small groups and talked about what it looks like to be a Christian and serve outside of "These Four Walls."

Left camp Nakamun.

Big post below

Church @ The Project

Baptism Sunday.

Chris from last weekends worship night.

James from Menergy.

Kalista? Twin

Nate? 

Brooke from Young Life

Frederick. Catholic background

Jessie. Best friend Jordan.

Announcement Andy!

On The Spot -Marriage 

Married couples:

Anket & Diandre

Carlos & Kennedy

Nick & Michelle

Compared to when you were single to now, what were your thoughts on marriage?

Marriage is for sex. But marriage is not all about sex, sex isn't the best part of marriage. Sacrifices for the person you love. Becoming a dad.

Marriage is work, you see them all the time, you aren't perfect with them, when you're married you unload on them. 

I was excited for marriage, you get to witness their life, and they get to witness your life.

Sex as well. Honouring your SO, bringing in more baggiage than you needed to. She had so much grace and he gets o experience it every day.

Expectation:marriage is great, but tough and all the work. Constantly think about how your actions affect another, being selfless is weok. It's awesome, it's fun, doing awesome stuff together every day.

Why get married? 50% ends in divorce. I wanna slap my old self, being vulnerable with another person, no stopping them off an d leaving them. Growing as one flesh. It's hard but learning how communicate is worth is and is so much more fun.

The things u outwork at become the miost fun. Things.

What did you do right before marriage?

Surrounding ourselves with good people who spoke into our lives. Married couples. Support. Advice, future.

Cancer in family. The established individual relationship win God help, and how dous the couples rlrstiihsip work as well. Dealing with stuff.

What do you wish you did before you were married? Doing it right

Accountability. Spiritually, as a guy. Masturbation? Married means spiritual life is easy, read the bible every night like good Christian couples. Not being a good leader at He start. I assumed she would taker her role and I would take mine. Establishing my role as leader I sucked at.

We would've had others holding us accohntsble, them being a apart of our lives, nobody to lean on or talk to about it.

What have been the best tools or supplements in your marriage?

Pre marriage course at church. Thin Ng's you argue about. Fighting fair. Putting their needs before yours.

Navigators counsel, preset questions, what did I do that made you happy. Any unresolved hurt or feelings. Making time to focus on your relationship.

Arguing well. Being too similar, not escalating, figuring it out right away. Not going to bed angry, making me tired. Figure out before we move on.

Quick to say sorry, don't keep fighting over whatever, even if it wasn't your fault approach it. Take it head on. Saying sorry. Escalate from there!

Take her on dates, coffee. Don't just sit an dcoexist, but go on walks where you need to communicate and be a part of others lives

Observing otherpeopel, asking questions, reading books. They look greetX what are they doing righ

None of them feel like they're perfect for it. We're all always figuring it out, you're always falling forward into it.

Do you think everyone is meant to be married?

Bit really, enerrioke jas different purposes.

Women look for in men?

?? Man that sees his wife in, man that's

Men look for in women?

Not crazy, cook, through the stomach, serious note, be yourself around and funny and serious, but serious at the same time.

Will marriage make you happy?

It's hard, but I hope so. I might not always like you but I will always love you. Knowing they're there no matter what

Marriage is one of the rnst things you. An do, but one of the hardest things you will ever so.

Ephesians 5:21 "submit to one another out of reverence to Christ." 

Submit is different in our culture. Not like how Paul uses. Submit to one another, not to one other. It's about the whole unit. 

Until your ready to give yourself as a benefit to the whole unit. 

Wives, if you had a husband who lived you likejesus loved you, it would be easy to entrust them in your life. Don't go chasing waterfalls. Wait until you find that person.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. He gave up his life for her. Are you willing to break your laptop to make this marriage work. Every marriage has an opportunity to experience Jesus love. Guys unless your willing to lay your rights down for the benefit of your wife you ain't ready.

Submit to one another out of the example and respect for christ. Even when we be treated him he came and mended the brokenness.

Marriage is the longest and hardest. But if you honour it it'll bring you closest to what Christ wants for you.

Dialogue about marriage submitted questions.

How young is too young to get married?

Divide by 2 add 7?

22-21? 

There are a few things you wanna pay attention to. How do you now your doing it the right way. Make sur you're as similar as possible. Dogs looking like your owners? Find that. Values and goals? Similar in that. Opposites attract until they start attacking rags other. Creates friction. Similar deep held values. Kids, travel the world. Can you look at them and say that you would naturally be friend, that you would organically get along very well.

If you don't know why you wanna do in life? Passions and direction where you wanna go. Make sur r you Nile your bagisgr and unconscious baggage. Knowing your blindspots. 21-25 creates s 15% divorce rate.

If a guy says you complete me? I don't feel like marrying half a man.

If you don't know, you'll create an identity out of that person.

Financially. Thinij g about that crates security. Are you aware about your financial situation? What it X happens?

Are your parents on your side with marriage?

What do you want to see before you'll marry someone?

Never submit to you if you're not confident in your ways of leading.

Value system. Love Jesus and has the relationship wtb God, listening and asking direction. Knowing what you're attached and drawn to. God has been shaping your identity. That is what is goinf to create the healthy space. 

What wil you do if you are married to someone who is married to video games?

If you brought it up and there is no shard reciprocation? Try to find a third party to manage the conversation. Be honest with what your feeling, don't see that person through your bitterness. Seek help out. Video games are a huge detriment to marriage.

Healthy behaviours and decisions lead to healthy emotions. If you aren't making the right choices then you haven't been having then right behaviours.

Why even get married it's the 21 century we edont need labels?

That's one way of seeing it. I see the marriage vow and covenant is not pushing away and separating love. It supercharged and advances them.

I'm commuting to love you and to be faithful, I'm commuting for your future and eeer both submitting to that. My love is at s marriage level, I'm in it all the way. "I will commit to you in life and death before you could even commit to me." Marriage is meant to express what god intends to express in reliishoo with us. Greatest way to love someone

How important is mareiage prep?

You gotta do more work to get s drivers license than it is to get married. Over 36% of couples that do marriage prep have a mor Erik filling marriage. It's the longest thing you do in life. Married at 35 and die at 85? That's 50 years of your life. Marriage prep helps you, gives you the tools to communicate about sex and finances and annoying habits.

Before you get engaged get marriage counselling. At least read s book. The other person is worth it.

What about this cases wher some couples get married after a month? They don't find out about those habits until after marriage?

Being a good communicator, talked about your feelings. If you learn to communicate well it means you invest into your SO, after investing into them you can overlook their annoyances. Communicating your annoyances is easy, and then you will show that you love them by Doing something about it. Different love languages and such. Communication can get over anything?

How do you know if you've found the one?

Once you say I Do. 

How do I support my spouse aside from going to church together?

Our spiritual life is s long journey. Things are going to happen. Be in tune with one another Anne where they're at. Are you praying about them more than you are taking about them? Talk to them and pray about it. God heard prayers and He is the one to chfsngr people. Posture of prayer, giving things to God and allowing  Him to work. If it brings goodness and gentleness it is a good thing.

Being in others to encourage and work with you.

My fiancé supports my faith, but doesn't believe?

I would have spoken to the person that brought me here, asking for help from those in faith. 

Biblical instruction in Corinthians.

If you aren't married you aren't married. It's hard to recognize while your in it.

One of you will compromise your values. Unfair to ask of someone. This is an important thing to ask. Wife or husband if you're married to someone who doesn't follow Jesus: pray for them and act like Christ in that relationship. Don't push your agenda. God doesn't do that. Pray and believe for your spouse, and be Christ like as much as you can.

What about friends who are good Christians and date someone without faith?

Do not base your life on exceptions. We all wanna base our life on best case scenario. That sets us up for disappointment and failure. It could happen, and pigs could fly.

You need to be wise. You are making decisions that will form the rest of your lives.

Do not screw with a relationship that will affect the rest of your lives together.

It's a role reversal. The Jesus lover falls away and the anti God person finds Jesus.

It's way too important a conversation to not have and not talk through.

We want you to do it well. Nobody does it perfectly. Learning to work with each other, learning good habits and unlearning bad habits. Nothing will shape you more than relationships.

That's all for now.

Young Adult Retreat First Session

Pastor James @ Camp Nakamun

First Saturday Session

Friend of Pastor John from college.

James story: Investment in his dads life by the Rowse family.

Humility, let's join together and talk about discipleship. "I've heard a million talks about this 😂"

John 15:1-

Story: people who you know on Facebook, you feel like you are not close with them at all, but they feel like you guys are best friends? Or maybe you thought someone was like that for you?

Story: going for a kiss with a girl in her BMW, "by the way I have a boyfriend." What? I thought I knew you?!

Like our relationship with Jesus, we want to be in a relationship with Him, but we don't actually know Him. Ask yourselves if you actually know Jesus. Is it your parents faith, or your pastors faith?

This weekend is for reevaluating if you know who Jesus.

Excuses, things that aren't bad but they distract us, 

On our phones, Netflix, insta, distractions that can remove us from focusing on Jesus.

Three primary things:

1. Disappointment: a time where you're hyped up on the spiritual high! But you go home and nothing happened. We did what the preacher said, and it didn't happen and I'm disapponted. Ten year old James story of being disappointed with his asthma faith healing. "I am not goona go there again because I don't want to be disappointed again." Didsppointment leads to laziness.
2. The devil. Without sin, without Adam and Eve. Our relationship with God would be so much more tangible. We would be i the garden, free. But it isn't God who tempts us.
3. Temptation: REALLY? Like God flip a switch in my life. I've gotta go through this again?! Wtf? Ima do all the Christ-like things, skinny jeans, goona go through all the motions. But without relationship... I could have intimacy and get the benefits of that relationship without _______. How do I go from being a follower to being a disciple. When temptation and apathy comes in we don't run from God, we run TO God. Story about having a fragile relationship, worried about earning God's love.

When was the last time you led someone to Christ outside of the church? What is your reputation with outsiders? Do people in coffeeshops and sports teams know you're a follower of Christ? 

"If you remain in me you will bear much fruit"

...then all of your desires will be given to you.

But are you in Me? Am I in you?

They will know you by your fruit, but are you showing them the love of Christ?

Be honest with yourselves, are you in Christ or are you just following Him? 

What has your heart? Your job? Your relationship? Your sports? Church? 

A Good Good Father: showing that He just wants to be with us.

There is always a level that you can go deeper, there is so much more to who He is.

You'll never get there if you don't be with Him, if you don't spend time in Him.

...

...

You can't earn your place in heaven.

You don't need to try.

God says that He loves us because we are His sons and daughters. Step one is to be with Him, remove any hindrances that are stopping that and just be.

Discussion time.

What did God say? Where you at with Jesus? What you feeling, let me help you journey with this.

Session 2 Saturday

Praying

Wrote my other post, talking about expressing things.

Praying and encouraging Matt and Nikki

Pastor James:

Being with Jesus, spending time.

Story: James and spending time with his wife. 

The most important thing to do in your life is spending time with Jesus

Second step to becoming a disciple is becoming like Jesus. Representing Him as best as we can.

Practice the things that He practices 

1 Corinthians 9:24-

Like an athlete would train for their event, we need to train as 

Stressed: kids ministry, gray hairs. Driving? Yeah.

"Dude you gotta control your emotions" being a hypocrite.

At work? Boss/coworker driving you crazy?

College/Uni? Homework is the killer.

Stress is tossed around pretty easily these days.

Burning out is real.

Renovations no permits basement suite, new super pastor at work worried about jobs, wife forgetting birth control, 

When we try to follow Jesus we think of it as a sprint, more like a marathon. If we don't lived a balanced life... stuff happens, but if we don't have practices in place we will one day give up and just throw in the towel.

Jesus was sweating blood, "can this cup be passed of me?!" Not my will but Yours.

You can't try your way to be like Jesus, you need to train your way to be like Jesus.

What were the spiritual disciplines. Jesus gave up His deity when he came to earth.

I don't say anything that u don't see the Father saying.

1. Get away from the crowd. Jesus, afterwards his ministry. A place of solitude, a place of silence. Get alone with the Father. 1 on 1 time.
2. Fasting. Jesus did this a lot. He was anointed into ministry and immediately went into the wildernesss and fasted for 40 days. That moment for Jesus wasn't his weakest but his strongest. He wasn't relying on a natural strength but the spiritual strength. You access supernatural resources when you fast.the point of fasting is that the time you would be doing X, you supplement it with prayer.
3. Reading your Bible. The power and presence that you can tap into simply by meditating on scripture. Reading the matriarchs and patriarchs of the faith. Read case for creator, case for the bible. This book is legit.
4. The art of Sabbath. It was initiated in Genesis when God rested. An important principle to take a 24 hour period when you just rest.
5. Community and food. After the Holy Spirit came down they broke bread, they gathered around and had food. Doing life outside of community is not the life Jesus called us to live. Coinenia Greek word meaning fellowship. Doing life together.
6. Sunday gathering and worship. Jesus sent to the synogogue once a week at least. Where we can get together as a family and get fed and get sent back out.
7. Serving. In and outside the church. "I did not come to be served but to serve." When I become more Christlike is when I go help somebody move. Jesus washing the disciples feet. Peter protested because Jesus was Doing the thing that nobody else wants to do. Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Don't tell anyone that you're serving, redding the Bible. Don't do it for recognition or as a popularity contest.
8. Gratitude. Stopping, taking a moment and just thanking God for what he's done in your life. So much power to tap into, potential is off the charts. Pray for your leaders. Thank you for _______. Bless them. God you love them, God I love them.
9. Celebration. I'm Jesus and I like to party. The year of jubilee, Passover, weddings, massive party. Mazeltov, Jesus' culture knew how to party.

Of these, probably focoud on the one that you are neglecting. Don't change your personality, don't become an extrovert/introvert, but come find Jesus in a place that is uncomfortable to you. Do something you've never done before. Invite God into moments in your day. Work these things into your daily routine, practice the things that Jesus practiced. Do the things that Jesus did to get filled with the spirit.

Liturgical audit: public worship, taking inventory of Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat. Does this do my heart well? Is this tapping into the Holy Spirit? Is it an addiction? Train towards the pain? 

Try these 9 things one at a time.

Just start practicing.

If you don't replace a habit you'll fall into that habit again.

I'll be honest I don't have any right now. I do need to do this once I'm in Montreal.

That's all for now.

The Morality of War, What does being in the Army mean?

Last weekend in Edmonton (I'm not actually in Edmonton right now lol). Last week I got sworn in to the military, had lunch and a really good conversation about my moral thoughts while I'm a part of the Army, and I kinda wanna write them out to solidify the values and ideals in my head. Um also last week I had some really sweet worship time, and the week before "last week" I was sick so that kinda sucked, hope my health is at its peak before I end up in Montreal, I wanna succeed physically.

Ok so regarding my thoughts on morality.

My hope is that the training period will give me the perspective that allows me to make judgement calls if I'm in the moment where I need that. 

Eg: I encounter an unexpected unknown/possible enemy and have to react quickly and decisively.

I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, so my idea is that those who are commanding me and giving me orders know that we are doing the 'right' thing with our actions as a unit: that I won't get an order that I know is wrong.

Now if that does happen, I hope that I will be allowed to express my thoughts.

Eg: if I see our company doing something I know is wrong because of the information that I have available to me, then I would hope I could say "Is this what we are supposed to be doing? What about X information which I know because of Y?" And I would be told further information based on that discussion.

As a member of the military I represent (to an extent) our citizens and peoples. Society depends on some members of the military domestically (for sure) and abroad (I hope so). Domestic issues are natural disasters and matters of national security, and I cannot think of a situation where I would question that in any way, shape, or form. Abroad? I could foresee that being an issue. Sometimes the locals do not want a military presence. NATO and the UN make choices based on the information available to them, and sometimes that information can be biased or outright incorrect, and if that happens and the situation on the ground is vastly different from command's understanding of the situation beforehand I would want to be able to communicate that in the fastest manner, especially when I am not experienced enough to understand what would need to change to accommodate the new situation that has arose.

What about killing someone?

I can honestly say that if I know that someone wants me dead I will not hesitate to stop them at any cost. That looks different in the field, because you don't know everything, and you have to make quick decisions that will have eternal (permanent) consequences. Another fact is if I am protecting someone from an aggressor, or possible aggressor, I do believe that there is no reason for there to be any doubt if I am seeing something "unexpected."

A man shows up somewhere he should absolutely not be at that time and refuses to communicate or back down? There should be a process that he has ignored deliberately and if he has gone that far than I am only retaliating to what he has already done as a conscious choice. I do not think I would hesitate if I knew that the safety of my company would be in danger if I did not take action.

My exposure to the world has taught me that people are not always to be trusted, and if someone has trusted their life (safety) in my hands then I should not doubt my own decisions to accomplish our goals with the greatest care and diligence.

I've beaten around the bush enough, if I saw someone with a weapon I would shoot first if I thought I had enough information to know that they are my enemy (they have made a conscious decision to A: have a weapon (implies readiness to kill, main, and destroy), and B: be in an area where they will find soldiers with the intention of ambushing/assaulting them, lastly C: having no identity aside from the weapon, this would apply to uniforms or marking designating friendlies). I would shoot to kill.

My goals are for everyone on earth to live in such a way where they do not fear for their lives as they move around the environment they are born into. Sometimes there is an unavoidable danger (dark street at night) that will be unavoidable no matter where you are located geographically, but that does not change my goal of basic human rights for life.

I do wonder about the motivations of those who find themselves in a 'War-Zone.' Obviously there are no real chcoices in that, if they could leave they would have, and if there is no other portion, I'm sure they would fight for their lands/families/ideology if that was the only option presented to them.

But when it turns to crimes against humanity? Treating prisoners like criminals? Killing civilians without any semblance of morality? Child soldiers? Ambushing enemies without any decision making or goal?

Those are things I disagree with wholeheartedly.

And if those doing these things were on my 'team?' Would I be able to stand in front of them and tell them that they cannot go through with what they wanted to? To physically try to stop them? I hope so.

What about the goals of the 'state' and the allies of our country (the western world, UN, NATO, and America foremost)? Do I think that everything the country does is right and am I comfortable with being only a pawn in those goals? 

My thoughts are that I hope that those placing the orders understand that they may not have all the information, and if they make a decision without all the information it could end up being the wrong one. Once the correction is made and more information has been gathered being able to change to the right choice is a hard one, and I hope it would be pursued and not ignored. Again I've kinda talked about this already, but just not agreeing with going along with something that is absolutely wrong, and being able to communicate why it is based on the real and true information.

I think something I'm thinking about is that the soldiers are not just 'warm bodies,' but that they are thinking, rational, knowledgeable human beings, and they can contribute to the choices that affect the world around them. Obviously there is a reason for the chain of command and those with experience and knowledge will be able to contribute more than those without.

That's all for now.

Going away at Millwoods

Last week after Tuesday was awful. I got sick with a cold and I've just been recovering since then, zero fun :(.

Aside from being laid up with sickness, i haven't really some anything since then. Huh.

Later tonight we're going out to Boston Pizza, I'm.

Church @ The Project

On The Spot

4 questions, guys opinion vs girls opinions.

Women asking out men?

Who should pay on the first date?

At what point are you "official?" Men take leadership.

Can you casually date more than one person at a time?

Brendan and Ashley video 💚

Three relationhsips, with God, with each other, and with our planet/environment.

Is tinder a good resource to meet your match? *snort*

What do I do when I don't get along or agree with my SO's parents?

If they're strange or odd, it's ok. There is a level of crazy that's fine and a level of dysfunction that is not ok. Measure it over time and figure it out, does your SO recognize those dysfunctions?

What if your SO doesn't believe in God? *check out my other post about this just last week, it basically said the same thing.* you cannot compartmentalize in a wise way.

When I ask out my crush and she says she will pray about it what should I do? *be ok with saying no.

When it comes to dating, how far is too far? Hard and fast rules, umm. Make a covenant to be naked in every single way and that you'll be there the next day. Marriage has many many facets, if you're only figured on touch and you neglect other parts? Not super healthy. You need people in your life who can watch your relationship. If your relationship ends will you have any regrets? How do I discover who this person is without my hands? You can have great ads but if you don't have good communication then... have a friend who can hold you accountable.

Emotional boundaries as well!

Is it ok to ask someone out of a date even if you're not looking for a relationship? What is your motivations, dating is a good way of learning more about other people. Dating is a skill, it takes time to learn who you are and it is possible to date with very little regrets. Dating in friendships, knowing a person casually as friends is one of the real thirst says to date. Blind dates can also be done well.

How do I tell anyone I'm 22 and I've never been in a real relationship and only a few dates? Just be honest, don't drop out baggage, but be wise with the baggage you have.

As a Christian, is casual dating wrong? Look at it as if you're married. 

If you're both Christians and someone is not pursuing Christ, what do you do? New relationships,kinda just watch it. Older relationships, didn't you talk about this when you were engaged? "I didn't want to rock the boat." "I noticed X, is this something you are concerned about or should I be concerned about it?" Ask the hard questions when you are dating. I value X and I don't think you value X, it might be a deal breaker, can we talk about this? Do they wanna be at church? Are hey involved in community? Are they falling forward (do they recognize their own past faults and are they dealing with it going forwards?)

Arguments and miscommunications are a part of any long term relationship, how do you know you're doing too much, when should you give up on it?

Like you said, they are always a part of the relationship. I think you should try everything before you give up on it. If your relationship is a chore? Seek some counsel. If you care enough about the relationship and each other then doing that is a very adult way of dealing with it.

Learning how to communicate well is so important. This is the longest relationship you will be in, so make that extra effort to do that well.

That's all for now!

Crunch Time

I just finished the last two basketball games that I'll be an official at before I leave Edmonton.

Definitely a garbage two days to start this career hold on. Yesterday my partner just three me for a loop for the first bit of the first game. Just an attitude/personality clash I think.

It did teach me a bit, I was able to look at myself with a more critical eye, seeing what habits I fall into and what I should be working on improving.

Today I got to experience a terrible coach. Gave him a technical, it was a game where I completely lost my voice afterwards (due to other factors as well but the game was the primary cause). It was a situation where a more experienced/mature official would have caused a different result, although if everyone involved (coaches) were less selfish it wouldn't have been a thing at all.

I just want to say that the whole thing is about the kids. They just want to play some basketball, and especially at this level (moderate/beginner) it is more important to look after the players: safety, fun, game involvement, sportsmanship etc.

Anyways my voice is gone but overall I did enjoy my refereeing experience and I look forward to improving myself in the future.

Young Adults @ CCC 

Pastor Dean & Laura Panel - Pastor John & Ana

How we met?

Church Camp and first kiss story.

What sort of activity should I have in the search for my spouse?

Hard to steer a parked car.

Let God direct you.

Be the best you you can be,

Work on you, God is grooming you for you future spouse.

No one perfect person, there are a lot of people for you, they are all people. God will take you to the flower garden and you shall pick one.

Things you should look for in your spouse, all sorts of shapes and sizes and scents and gifts and skills that you can look for and pick.

:D

Is it sinful to date a non christian, "missionary dating"? Flirt to convert

How can two walk together if.... Amos 3:3

Your spouse needs to be a lover of Jesus Christ.

Look for the fruit of it, look for their passion for discipleship, a teAchabld spirit, will they obey God in the hard things? Do they tithe (time, money, etc) don't expect they to change, would you marry that person as they are? Don't expect them to be able to change.

When you're dating you put your best foot foreword, you do things you want them to see.

Rose coloured glasses.

Should we always date with the intention of marriage? What should we be doing?

Dating is not a game, it should be used to find someone who you would marry. If you would never marry that person, don't date them!

If you don't intend to marry them you are really going into the relationship with the wrong reasons.

We are all wired sexually. The problem with just having a bf/gf gives you a big temptation to go into a deeper sexual relationship. Setting yourself up for disappointment and failure.

Developing soul ties with others who you have shared a sexual relationship with will create emotional baggage.

Be friends first before you jump into that romantic relationship.

Hang out in group settings, 

Common sense.

Promise each other what your limits are. Create boundaries and respect them.

Don't fool around with sex before marriage.

Did you see lifelong commitment modelled in your family of origin?

Laura - Yes

Dean - No. fighting every week, remarriage. You have a choice. You can become like your environment or you can make a conscious decision to avoid that.

So you accept conflict or view it as a threat? What does it mean to fight fair?

Will have disagreements: two lives blended together to be come one will be a union to work for. Conflict resolution is a key aspect in a healthy relationship.

Dialogue, discuss, treat with respect, avoid exaggerations (you ALWys, you NEVER, etc).

Time and a place, be prepared to talk. Create an environment where situations are well allowed.

In a good frame of mind. "To go to the person, not your mother, your friend don't take it to your people first. Pray about it, bless them and forgive them, right and work out the situation. With grace and without offence.

Don't listen to the incorrrct Counselor, at night when you're angry and questioning? That is not coming from God.

There will be a point where you think, "I married the wrong person."

There is no unicorn.

You will always disagree, you will find flaws.

It is a daily relationship development.

Grace and God's love allows you to choose to love someone. 

Emotions will trick you, feelings don't last. They will disappear, the goosebumps will dissipate. 

Marriage is choosing to love that person, better or worse. A literal vow. A promise, covenantal vow.

Pray for that person and let God give you peace on that.

Don't doubt in the darkness what God has revealed in the light.

Trust God's peace.

Marriage as the "end goal"?

False assumption is that marriage brings bliss.

Get to learn them, date them for at least a year before marriage.

That's all for now.

Third-last Sunday in Edmonton

It feels like I haven't seen anyone from CCC in a while, and that kind of is the case. I've missed a bunch of young Adults because of reffing basketball and other things (accepting the position in the Army). But I'm here now and that'll be great.

Church at CCC - Pastor Dean

Philippians 4:15 - Giving and receiving

Announcements

Pastor John - Young Adult retreat

Part 3, Conclusion of:

Declaring War on Selfishness

What is love?

This isn't love?

3 Misconceptions of Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

1. "Love accepts people's lifestyle"

The truth is - Love differentiates between people and their opinions and lifestyle!

Examples with the homosexual lifestyle - need to be born again.

2 + 2 = 4 Absolute Truths. 

God or no God. No moral compasss, no order or compass.

Story of the adulteress woman. 

John 8:3

Jesus said "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone?" Wrote on the sand.

"Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more."

Many paths? "I am the Way" John 14:6

Freedom does not mean acceptance of everyone's lifestyle and practice.

Leviticus 13:22

Romans Chapter 1

2. "Love = trust"

Unless someone gives you jurisdiction over someone's life, you have no jurisdiction over other people's lives.

Don't criticize, point fingers, or go around telling that they'll go to hell in a hand basket.

If you do the same thing God will do the same thing he did to me.

Dispensation of grace. Eschatology. End time events. 

Revelation 2:18-20

What a good picture of a church! But nevertheless...

Love loves the person but rejects the sin.

If you ever forgive somebody with a string attached it's not forgiveness it's a dale.

Without expectations? That's a gift.

Forgiveness does not always mean trusting eberyone.

Because you haven't proven your trust.

Trust is built on faith, on a knowledge of something.

3. "If you love me you would do anything for me"

Selfish story.

James 4:2 yet you do not have because you do not ask.

Young girls-Boys and In Heat vs Love.

Men and pornography, conditioning our minds to create a perfect woman.

Women pornography, drama novels and soap operas. Built up a fake relationship with a false personality type.

Jeremiah Covenant with my eyes.

Menergy - 33 The Series

Why do we work?

This volume 4: Bigger Vision of Work

Conventional views of work and tension that we can feel.

What do you do?

Why do you do it?

What do you love about your job?

Do you work to make money?

What frustrates you about your job?

Tension

A Man and His Work

Work is a dominant force in the life of every man

Most of us have never engaged In a deliberate process

Work can be exhilarating, fulfilling, and purposeful.

Groundwork

1. What we want from work
2. Conventional responses to work
3. Historical eras of work

What we want from work

1. Success

Skill or expertise

Recognition for our work

1. Fake compensation

We want to be compensated

Lack of money creates tension

Paid fairly and on time gives us success

1. The right job fit

Matches our skills and personality

Not having that gives frustration

1. Know our work matters

Knowing this. More than success.

We want our work to be purposeful 

Conventional responses to work

1. Disengaged

Going through the motions

Work is the place where we put on a costume, we're just acting. Not passionate about what we're doing. Just a means to a pay check, I want retirement.

2.Disappointed 

Not expected pay, 

Less than half of us workers are satisfied with their jobs

A third are disappointed with the money they receive, 

Electrician vs senior manager vs high school football coach

3. Over-engaged

It has unfortunately become a respected behaviour in our country.

86% of American work more than 40 hours a week

Leisure sickness

Prioritized work over everything else in life

4. Underworking

Leisure is the goal of life

Never declare a career path

Dabble perpetually

At work, tempted to do as little as possible

Better at pretending

This response Springs from a lack of personal ambition or career vision 

The three eras of work

1.Agricultural era

Cultivation of Land for the production of food

The identity of a man was tied to bis family rather than work

Work was the same everywhere

In 1890 40% of us population listed their occupation as farming

Today less than 1% of us population lists their occupation as farming

2.Industrial era

Leave the fields and commute to cities to work factories

Emphasis of efficiency and profit

Employers view employees as a means for production

Micromanagement popularized here

Mass production enabled mass consumption

Work became the dominant way men defined themselves 

3.Informational era

Knowledge and creativity are prime commodities

The use of technology to replace workers

The informational era is defined by innovation

Tensions from the historical eras of work

A blurring between your leisure and your work

Miroslav Volf quote "lives today alternate between frenzied work and frenzied play"

Having to change jobs multiple times

Change has become the norm

Potential vocational tension between fathers and sons

Not as easy for a dad to be involved in a sons vocational development

We are going to take you through a deliberate process 

Gods original intention for work

Manhood definition

Reject passivity

Accept responsibility

Lead courageously

_______

Friendship is born at the moment one person says to another

What? you too?

I thought I was the only one

-CS Lewis

Discussion

Church at The Project

On The Spot: Pastor Tomas

Baggage

3 questions

What is baggage?

Your history, the good and the bad. Walking into life/a relationship with. Assume it has to deal with sexual history/your sexual past.

Bible/ being a Christian. We think sex is not just a physical experience, it should be enjoyed within the safety of marriage. It should be accompanied with a vow, a marriage vow. Without that safety net... It is a spiritual event, those two that become one should not be taken apart.

Church is bad about talking about sex.

Sex is an expression: all that you are, im not going to leave you.

Best case scenario is it happens within marriage.

Porn is another baggage topic, 

Tomas marriage and first Marital fight story. Bottle it up inside.

1 Corinthians "how can a believer be bonded with an unbeliever?"

2. At what point should I begin to worry about my baggage?

Very individualistic and situational. One person could deal ez pz, next guy is debilitated.

Proverbs: Wisdom literature.

3:21-25 "hang on to common sense and discernment...

When your baggage is all you see.

I feel like God is always at our door pointing out all that's wrong with us.

He says that all the work that needs to be done has been done for us.

If we don't deal with it we will identify our future with our past.

When there is an disunity caused by it. Especially between you and your significant other. Moreso with you and God.

3. At what point should I begin to worry about someone else's baggage?

Be careful to not identity someone else by their scrapes and bruises.

We want a unicorn. Someone of standards which we ourselves cannot meet.

Corinth had bad things. Sex mostly.

What's the difference between giving someone grace and having the wisdom to say "that Far but no further?"

The wiser people see that every decision is interconnected. If you are With someone who has some baggage, but are dealing with it? That will probably not matter in 20 years. If they have walked through it and have gotten healthy it will not matter. It has to be dealt with by both members of a relationship.

Perspective is a thing. If they're living a life where that is their constant habit? Do you want to have that be a thing for the next 20 years?

Should I be ok with it? No. Are you ok compromising that area of your life to be ok with it?

You will be the one to change.

Best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour. If someone shows no initiatice, no dedication no commitment to changing? They will continue down that path until something in their life changes.

This far, no further.

Group discussion.

Laura, Andy and 

Hard dealing with past sexual sins in the context of dating. Will stuff resurface? It seems inevitable. Healing and wholeness possible while still dating?

Understanding that there is a past.

Steps to protect future marriage?

If I waited and they didn't? How do I accept and forgive that?

Everyone does sin, especially in our generation.

It is not the unpardonable sin. The church is guilty of this.

Do not rank sins. Find someone who you can talk to about this stuff.

Do marriage counselling before you're engaged.

Do I need counselling for my baggage or will God heal me?

Both, and.

Every young adult needs to see a Counselor st least once. <25 years old? Gotta do it.

Self awareness is really important. With social and cultural pressures without self awareness we will cave to pressure.

"God will help me" not the case, you need to be intentional.

When is a good time to tell your other that you weee sexually abused?

When do you drop the bomb? When you're thinking about a future with them.

Establish trust. If you know that you can trust that individual with very sensitive things? Yes. If they willl hear and validate your experiences.

Why do you want to communicate what you are communicating? They probably don't need details.

How do I get over the fear of being hurt if I've been hurt before?

Time. Trust takes so much time to rebuild.

To forgive someone you don't need to trust them for it.

Is it a pattern? Where is your sense of value? Sense of self worth?

Recognizing wher that comes from it leads you into healthier relationships where that individual values you.

Find people who can help you navigate this baggage.

It's not as simple as do X and you're done.

Philippians "I press on to possess that perfection that Christ possessed... I forget the past and I look forward to what lies ahead."

That's all for now.

Singleness

I served this morning for the first time at CCC

Church @ The Project

Singleness.

Questions and acting.

Not a normal sermon.

If you're not married by 30 there is something wrong with you -The Church

Start taking risks or you'll always be single.

You're too picky.

You'll never know until you try

Shave my head, get a robe, find a bell. Incense.

If God intended me to be single... why would he give me that need and then not give me a spouse.

Ronald Rollheiser: sexuality compared to the white and the yolk of an egg. At some dark level we know we've been separated from our other half.

Heartache, we need to be connected. Longing to be love.

We need to be careful of the contemporary popular view that having sex and having a spouse makes us feel whole and complete.

TBH sometimes it won't get easier, it may get more difficult and it may not go away.

Because you are making it an idol in your life?

More a priority than God?

Showing him that this need to feel loved and accepted won't be satisfied in marriege, or having sex. You can do that and still feel alone and isolated.

Where is that need stemming from?

A deeper reason?

What's really going on in your heart?

Romans 8:28 "God works for the good of those who love him..."

He will not give us a life to intentionally screw us over (job?)

Why do my "couple friends" once they're in relationships, stop hanging out with me? Don't they know that I still need them in my life even though I'm single?

They are on cloud nine, only significant others allowed

Be patient with them

It sucks. You're just being alone and.

With some people, they're in this process that you cannot understand as a single person.

Things for couples:

One quick touch point

-Facebook meetings, texts, fail videos, 

When we're single and a close friend is dating, how do we curb the jealousy? (They have a partner, they have another close friend who they spend a lot of time)

1. Fake it til you make it

2. Are you territorial?

Do you really struggle sharing your friends with people?

Is it insecurity? Fear of abandonment? 

They may not understand your things.

It may not appear how you think it appears.

Maybe you're quick to judge, snappy.

You should talk about it

3. Don't imagine worst case scenario.

Is this goona work out? 

Take a chill pill, relax.

Read Ephesians.

4. Remember where jealousy starts

It can lead us down dark paths.

Phil2:3-5 " Be Humble! thinking of others as Better than your selves,"

Constantly look at other people

James 3:16 "wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will guided disorder and evil of every kind."

Proverbs 14:30 "jealousy is cancer in the bones."

For people who are single, are their standards too high?

Depends what you set as a standard.

It's ok to set high standards in your faith.

Do they love Jesus? Are they trying to be like Christ? Do they live the church? Do they bash the church?

Ok 👌

Eg. Kids? I like going to church but... meh

I think we should give some money to help out the church? !!

Sooner or later, if you are unequally yoked?

Physical attraction? That comes later.

What about ____? Uhh, idk what to say.

What is my sex life goona be like?

I felt so shallow.

Signs too high standards

A very specific list

Bad idea, setting yourself up to look for someone who doesn't really exist.

A very physically specific list, calf muscles? Chiseled. Ears? Perfectly round.

Massive red flag, not banner.

Appearances change over time. Beauty is fleeting.

Beauty does not influence a great marriage. Sex life changes over time.

Let's move on.

You easily give up on someone because of one small thing

Not the same as deal breakers.

The car they drive? Brand of shoes? The way they laugh? They don't text back right away.

You always say 'no' when someone asks you out

Story: hesitant to date someone from The Project. Wife asks him out.

If you take a risk be smart about it, don't over complicate stuff.

Go on a few dates, be wise about it.

Second date doesn't mean marriage. That's not real. Don't blow it all out of proportion.

Start off as friends, see if it grows into something more.

Physical attributes are the only thing on your radar.

It's important, so is character.

Later on everything changed. Arguments in the future? Finances?

If you're not sure?

Talk to your friends

But be careful what they say.

We can develop blindspots, 

Proverbs 27:9 "the heartfelt council of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense"

How to meet girls at church?

What's your name? Umm I don't want a boyfriend. I got the vibe that they thought I was interested in them.

The vibe of the project is ok.

If you want to meet someone don't be overbearing. Just be a gentleman, you can't judge them.

Hey what did you think about that message? How long have you been coming here?

Get involved in the church?

Got a lanyard? Not creepy anymore!

Don't write a guy off too quickly, carry on a conversation for 10 minutes. After that just run, it's ok.

Not scriptural based answer.

She asked me out and now we're married, this is awesome! It did something for me, she's bold and took initiative.

Some guys like the more traditional approach.

It's not the end of the world.

Try to know her as a friend? If 

Take the pressure off of it, relax and get to know one another. If you've done something just go for the whole deal.

Choose to honour one another's hearts.

For the single and stuck waiting, is it wrong to use masturbation as an outlet?

Let's think.

Yeah, single people.

This is something I struggled with, im not Jesus Christ. (Perfect)

One thing he noticed, Christians have very different views on masturbation. Profs have a book on sex men and God, 

Blown away by the authors perspective on it.

In some cases it's fine. Chop off my hand?

If you don't lust, it's fine. Um what?

Navigating. 

Greeks had idea, were charged into life with the fire that we cannot tame.

Even though I'm your mind you think you're feeding the issue the more you're craving it.

Stairs. Stuck masturbating. Used to it and it doesn't fulfill you.

If you keep going down levels you cannot tame it.

Masturbation doesn't tame it, it makes things worse.

Feels like you beat yourself up.

Bible says nothing.

Lusting, issues are different. Something is going on in your heart and you need to fix that.

If God has a plan for me then why is it taking so long and at what point do I step in and take control?

Need wisdom if you take matters into your own hands.

You aren't asking God what to do?

See Gods leading in this stuff but take it slow.

Don't jump into things too quickly.

After a few months you aren't interested in it. There is stil heartbreak because you both got invested into your relationship.

Took a risk, but it still involved being her friend first.

How does she handle arguing with her family?

I see characteristics that I love and I'm falling for her.

How do I move away from temptation, how do I know I'm feeling loved? 

If they only want me for my body, you need to watch your heart.

You have so much more value than that. 

Things don't always pan out the way we want

Be careful what you consume in media.

Victoria's Secret?

If there's something that helps, it is scripture.

The devil wants you to stray to temptation.

Be intentional, God does provide a way out. But try to act on it.

How to I effectively encourage a single friend who is trying to change that?

It should be celebrated, you can do things that you cannot do while single.

What is the one thing you cannot do while married? Do it!

Once marriage happens your priorities will change, what you do with your time changes.

Singleness frees you from that for the time being. Don't say Jesus was single.

Do the one thing you love to do.

Ecclesiastes: a season for everything.

Seasons change.

That's all for now.