Church at CCC - Pastor Dean
Philippians 4:15 - Giving and receiving
Announcements
Pastor John - Young Adult retreat
Part 3, Conclusion of:
Declaring War on Selfishness
What is love?
This isn't love?
3 Misconceptions of Love
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
1. "Love accepts people's lifestyle"
The truth is - Love differentiates between people and their opinions and lifestyle!
Examples with the homosexual lifestyle - need to be born again.
2 + 2 = 4 Absolute Truths.
God or no God. No moral compasss, no order or compass.
Story of the adulteress woman.
John 8:3
Jesus said "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone?" Wrote on the sand.
"Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more."
Many paths? "I am the Way" John 14:6
Freedom does not mean acceptance of everyone's lifestyle and practice.
Leviticus 13:22
Romans Chapter 1
2. "Love = trust"
Unless someone gives you jurisdiction over someone's life, you have no jurisdiction over other people's lives.
Don't criticize, point fingers, or go around telling that they'll go to hell in a hand basket.
If you do the same thing God will do the same thing he did to me.
Dispensation of grace. Eschatology. End time events.
Revelation 2:18-20
What a good picture of a church! But nevertheless...
Love loves the person but rejects the sin.
If you ever forgive somebody with a string attached it's not forgiveness it's a dale.
Without expectations? That's a gift.
Forgiveness does not always mean trusting eberyone.
Because you haven't proven your trust.
Trust is built on faith, on a knowledge of something.
3. "If you love me you would do anything for me"
Selfish story.
James 4:2 yet you do not have because you do not ask.
Young girls-Boys and In Heat vs Love.
Men and pornography, conditioning our minds to create a perfect woman.
Women pornography, drama novels and soap operas. Built up a fake relationship with a false personality type.
Jeremiah Covenant with my eyes.
Menergy - 33 The Series
Why do we work?
This volume 4: Bigger Vision of Work
Conventional views of work and tension that we can feel.
What do you do?
Why do you do it?
What do you love about your job?
Do you work to make money?
What frustrates you about your job?
Tension
A Man and His Work
Work is a dominant force in the life of every man
Most of us have never engaged In a deliberate process
Work can be exhilarating, fulfilling, and purposeful.
Groundwork
- What we want from work
- Conventional responses to work
- Historical eras of work
What we want from work
- Success
Skill or expertise
Recognition for our work
- Fake compensation
We want to be compensated
Lack of money creates tension
Paid fairly and on time gives us success
- The right job fit
Matches our skills and personality
Not having that gives frustration
- Know our work matters
Knowing this. More than success.
We want our work to be purposeful
Conventional responses to work
- Disengaged
Going through the motions
Work is the place where we put on a costume, we're just acting. Not passionate about what we're doing. Just a means to a pay check, I want retirement.
2.Disappointed
Not expected pay,
Less than half of us workers are satisfied with their jobs
A third are disappointed with the money they receive,
Electrician vs senior manager vs high school football coach
3. Over-engaged
It has unfortunately become a respected behaviour in our country.
86% of American work more than 40 hours a week
Leisure sickness
Prioritized work over everything else in life
4. Underworking
Leisure is the goal of life
Never declare a career path
Dabble perpetually
At work, tempted to do as little as possible
Better at pretending
This response Springs from a lack of personal ambition or career vision
The three eras of work
1.Agricultural era
Cultivation of Land for the production of food
The identity of a man was tied to bis family rather than work
Work was the same everywhere
In 1890 40% of us population listed their occupation as farming
Today less than 1% of us population lists their occupation as farming
2.Industrial era
Leave the fields and commute to cities to work factories
Emphasis of efficiency and profit
Employers view employees as a means for production
Micromanagement popularized here
Mass production enabled mass consumption
Work became the dominant way men defined themselves
3.Informational era
Knowledge and creativity are prime commodities
The use of technology to replace workers
The informational era is defined by innovation
Tensions from the historical eras of work
A blurring between your leisure and your work
Miroslav Volf quote "lives today alternate between frenzied work and frenzied play"
Having to change jobs multiple times
Change has become the norm
Potential vocational tension between fathers and sons
Not as easy for a dad to be involved in a sons vocational development
We are going to take you through a deliberate process
Gods original intention for work
Manhood definition
Reject passivity
Accept responsibility
Lead courageously
_______
Friendship is born at the moment one person says to another
What? you too?
I thought I was the only one
-CS Lewis
Discussion
Church at The Project
On The Spot: Pastor Tomas
Baggage
3 questions
What is baggage?
Your history, the good and the bad. Walking into life/a relationship with. Assume it has to deal with sexual history/your sexual past.
Bible/ being a Christian. We think sex is not just a physical experience, it should be enjoyed within the safety of marriage. It should be accompanied with a vow, a marriage vow. Without that safety net... It is a spiritual event, those two that become one should not be taken apart.
Church is bad about talking about sex.
Sex is an expression: all that you are, im not going to leave you.
Best case scenario is it happens within marriage.
Porn is another baggage topic,
Tomas marriage and first Marital fight story. Bottle it up inside.
1 Corinthians "how can a believer be bonded with an unbeliever?"
2. At what point should I begin to worry about my baggage?
Very individualistic and situational. One person could deal ez pz, next guy is debilitated.
Proverbs: Wisdom literature.
3:21-25 "hang on to common sense and discernment...
When your baggage is all you see.
I feel like God is always at our door pointing out all that's wrong with us.
He says that all the work that needs to be done has been done for us.
If we don't deal with it we will identify our future with our past.
When there is an disunity caused by it. Especially between you and your significant other. Moreso with you and God.
3. At what point should I begin to worry about someone else's baggage?
Be careful to not identity someone else by their scrapes and bruises.
We want a unicorn. Someone of standards which we ourselves cannot meet.
Corinth had bad things. Sex mostly.
What's the difference between giving someone grace and having the wisdom to say "that Far but no further?"
The wiser people see that every decision is interconnected. If you are With someone who has some baggage, but are dealing with it? That will probably not matter in 20 years. If they have walked through it and have gotten healthy it will not matter. It has to be dealt with by both members of a relationship.
Perspective is a thing. If they're living a life where that is their constant habit? Do you want to have that be a thing for the next 20 years?
Should I be ok with it? No. Are you ok compromising that area of your life to be ok with it?
You will be the one to change.
Best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour. If someone shows no initiatice, no dedication no commitment to changing? They will continue down that path until something in their life changes.
This far, no further.
Group discussion.
Laura, Andy and
Hard dealing with past sexual sins in the context of dating. Will stuff resurface? It seems inevitable. Healing and wholeness possible while still dating?
Understanding that there is a past.
Steps to protect future marriage?
If I waited and they didn't? How do I accept and forgive that?
Everyone does sin, especially in our generation.
It is not the unpardonable sin. The church is guilty of this.
Do not rank sins. Find someone who you can talk to about this stuff.
Do marriage counselling before you're engaged.
Do I need counselling for my baggage or will God heal me?
Both, and.
Every young adult needs to see a Counselor st least once. <25 years old? Gotta do it.
Self awareness is really important. With social and cultural pressures without self awareness we will cave to pressure.
"God will help me" not the case, you need to be intentional.
When is a good time to tell your other that you weee sexually abused?
When do you drop the bomb? When you're thinking about a future with them.
Establish trust. If you know that you can trust that individual with very sensitive things? Yes. If they willl hear and validate your experiences.
Why do you want to communicate what you are communicating? They probably don't need details.
How do I get over the fear of being hurt if I've been hurt before?
Time. Trust takes so much time to rebuild.
To forgive someone you don't need to trust them for it.
Is it a pattern? Where is your sense of value? Sense of self worth?
Recognizing wher that comes from it leads you into healthier relationships where that individual values you.
Find people who can help you navigate this baggage.
It's not as simple as do X and you're done.
Philippians "I press on to possess that perfection that Christ possessed... I forget the past and I look forward to what lies ahead."
That's all for now.
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